r.i.p.

Dad, you fought a good fight, I'm glad you are finally resting. You waited for a Friday, didn't you? Almost six months to the date? I hope you did get the welcoming committee you said you dreamt about, how nice to think that your mother and son have been visiting your dreams to let you know that home is waiting for you.

I envy your peace.

For the record...

I want this on record: If I'm ever suffering from a terminal illness and lose my ability to make decisions about my care, make sure I am under the care of a proper pain management doctor/team. Sedatives sedate, they don't manage pain. So just because I am unconscious or sedated doesn't mean I can't be experiencing pain.

I saw how the doctors at Indiana took Cyril's pain management so seriously, then I see how father in law's pain is being (mis)managed here, and it makes me want to cry. I do what I can as a mere in-law who is trying to keep her own life from imploding, but I owe it to Dad, for all he did for his son and the father of my kids, at the expense of his own health...

Again, I'd rather be overmedicated than undermedicated, just don't kill me prematurely with a fentanyl overdose if it's not really my time to go!!! Isa, you have my permission to overrule my family if you think they're being stupid.

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.