When I Fall, I Fall Hard

I slipped on the wet front steps of my building last night. I don't think I've ever fallen like that before. It was PAINFUL and I think it's a miracle I didn't break a bone or my skull. I stepped down and I split second later, my body crashed down hard on the marble edge.

A friend was with me, and there was a bystander. They both saw my fall and it freaked them out. After a minute, I was able to stand. After a few more minutes, I was able to move. I started to get dizzy and clammy. I was escorted back upstairs and I promptly fainted onto the couch.

I've read about the body's reaction to trauma and I knew this was adrenalin pumping then making me crash. I seriously considered going to the hospital and I cried from the pain, but I was aware enough to determine if I had any serious injuries. Taking stock, my left arm was bruised and useless so I put it in a sling and kept it immobile overnight. The main impact was on my left butt and I could not walk. I was dizzy, but not because I hit my head. I was clammy and my heart was pounding (still the adrenalin). There was a loud buzzing inside my head, like a hive of bees.

This morning I woke up to see a long, horizontal hematoma across my left butt. Seeing where the worst bruising was just convinced me even more that I was saved by my guardian angel. One inch to the right and I would have slammed down on my tailbone instead of the biggest muscle in the human body. Thinking about what could have happened is freaking me out more than anything else. It was so sudden. I literally could have been paralyzed with a broken spine or hurt with a head injury. Why my head did not slam backwards on the marble as my feet flew up is pure dumb luck aka, my guardian angel.

A voice inside me is saying I was meant to fall to jolt me out of my melancholy. But I am more melancholic now, plus I hurt all over and cant walk. What the fuck.

Welcome August, my birth month, Ghost month and Ramadan. It looks like a painful month ahead.