Wait

Not yet.

I'm helping mother-in-law sell hers and father-in-law's stuff as she moves to the condo slowly, and I'm also using the opportunity to get rid of mine and the kids' old things. I've always enjoyed a good rummage sale, but I just can't sell any of Cyril's belongings. Can't do it.

I admit to moving aside some of his clothes to make some room for mine, and giving away a few t-shirts to people who have asked for something of his, and maybe lending his cold-weather clothes to John. Maybe I can give up old pants, yucky work shoes that weren't really him.... But not anything that he really USED, his climbing shoes and beloved crocs, his graphic and ukay tees, his flight pants and bag. His drawer at his desk and his sidetable all remain untouched. I haven't even been able to erase his number (already cancelled at Smart) on my cellphone, or his YM address on my computer. His red cellphone and brand-new iTouch are sitting on my desk gathering dust.

It's like I want to keep everything as is, more for the kids than for me I think. Because they are so young, I'm afraid they won't remember enough about their Dad as they grow up.

MIL was able to detach herself so quickly, starting to get rid of FIL's things within a week of his death. It's been seven months for me, and I know someone who took ten years to donate her husband's things. Maybe I need to take it verrry slowly. Or give to charity.