Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tragedy is just a mental concept, until it happens to you.

The whole of last week was an eye-opener. More than just the devastation of the storm, its reeling aftermath and the blossoming of volunteerism, I made a few personal discoveries:

1. Love does not come in one form -- It molds itself uniquely to the person/s in your life and creates an individual existence. Each and every soul attracts me in a different way; therefore, my love for the people in my life is as varied as the types of shoes in my closet. Using the same analogy, I wish I had a really comfortable love right now, but the shoe does not fit yet...

2. Acceptance is the key to moving forward -- To fight against something is only a futile attempt to deny that it exists. I will not fight how I feel, but in order to protect myself, i will not encourage it either. My hope is that Time the Healer will hold my hand through this personal journey of acceptance.

3. I don't particularly like being single. I have so much to give, but I don't have anyone to give it to. The kids have all of mommy-me, but how about the woman-me who has no one to gift herself to? It is unnerving to realize that when I have a need for real human contact&affection, I don't have anyone to turn to.

4. My spirit is made for helping out. Mothering. Sheltering. Comforting. I wish I could bottle the high I had all this week and use it to inspire me to find a more fulfilling career (what career?) direction.