Thursday, April 23, 2009

Silly Girl (have I used this title yet?)

Had a good chat with S, and she is so wise about life... I have a feeling that while she listens to me, her thought bubble says "what a silly, silly girl". But she is cool, and worldly, and oh-so-blase, and I wish I could practice the patience she insists I develop for my own good.

She is also undergoing change in her life, and the amazing part is, she has the strength and power to turn her back on things that she cannot live with. She seems happier now, and glad to give me advice. One day I should see her alone, without T. Her, me and a pitcher of margaritas sounds like a pretty good happy hour....

Saturday, April 18, 2009


It's remarkable how quickly any bit of news/gossip/intrigue travels. There is barely any smoke and people are already speculating about fire! Wow. Gotta be so careful nowadays.

Monday, April 13, 2009


There's nothing like coming home from a vacation to make you feel both glad and sad. Ahh well, give it a day. In the morning I'll definitely be back to cranky mode. I don't even want to think about the 'monkey wrench'. But tonight, had a chat with M and he jogged my memory about past behavior, missed chances, being brave. What a nice person. Tried to convince him to come to Manila to visit, we'll see! This, I am not ambiguous about.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

my movie life

Okay, I'm officially confused.
Plus, I'm so cranky. PMS?

Time to crack out my special coping tools. Or just imagine all the people in this world who are more confused and crankier than I am. I must be a recurring character in a ridiculous Cohen brothers movie... downgraded from The Matrix where people actually had a choice between red and blue.

Talking to X helps to a degree, but how can X really contribute to the solution when X is part of the problem?

Maybe I should trawl though Facebook photos 'til the sun rises -- skip the S for one night and see what happens.

Or hey, maybe I can double the S and just put myself out of my misery for half a day. I'll wake up with a funny feeling, I'm sure. Very Groundhog Day. Anyone ever see the original french (?) short movie that the movie was based on? No happy Bill Murray ending there. The poor man kept waking up standing in the middle of a traffic intersection holding his briefcase. It drove him crazy, to the point that he killed himself. Screen goes black. Then fades into him standing in the traffic intersection once again. I still have NIGHTMARES about this....

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April's Fool

Had to make a very serious decision about something, and it's so difficult to keep to it. I know I had to do this, for the sake of moving forward. Didn't realize until I stepped away that it was so toxic. Strangely glad to be traveling a lot this month so I can put some literal distance and give myself time to think about other things -- the kids, work, Margaret...

Good-bye March. Let's hope that April doesn't prove me a fool.

ps. No guys, I'm not going to tell you about this. Yet. lol