Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Useless Men

Too much has happened since my last post, so I will skip it altogether and begin... today. Today my father and my brother disappointed me. Today they failed to help when I asked for help. Did they think I was kidding? Were they immune to the urgency in my voice? People really forget how tough I have it, mostly because I don't talk about the stresses of money and supporting my kids alone. I do what I can, but there are many times when I just need help, aka cash. Not for me, not for luxuries, but for tuition, shoes, uniforms, supplies, and other education-related expenses. I am filled with resentment but I wonder how much of this resentment is fed by a sense of entitlement? I see how much they have. It's certainly enough to share. I guess I just want someone to take care of me for a bit, to do something extraordinary and unexpected for me. Ease my burden, surprise me with concern. It's like carrying a heavy bag and suddenly having someone carry the bag for you, without prompting. The cycle of disappointment in the men of my family continues, but I promise it will stop with my sons.