Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Heartbreak Warfare

My heart is breaking for a dear, dear friend who lost his Mom, the center of his Universe. I wish I had the words to help him but I know there aren't any. Grief is such a lonely, painful journey that, unfortunately, we need to take alone. I just hope he doesn't let his regrets overwhelm him.

His texts/status updates are so desperate, I am afraid. He has said "I have no reason for living, but I am too afraid to kill myself." What is there to say that won't smack of self-righteous and patronizing obtuseness?

" Don't kill yourself, it is a sin."
" Your mom would not have wanted this for you."
" She is in a better place."
" There is still more to life."
" We are here for you whenever you need to talk."
" I will pray for you."

Frankly, these platitudes will just sound like blah blah blah while the only true thought in your head is "This is so painful, how do I make it stop?"

My friend, I hope you have the inner strength to forge ahead. I believe in you and I will wait at the sidelines until you are ready for my help.

Monday, July 5, 2010


Dear Blog,

I'm so sorry I've neglected you... but I finally didn't need you as much as I did before. Something happened to me these last few months; I feel like something inside me shifted and settled.

It wasn't one thing, or a few things, it was just a feeling of calmness. I wasn't running or chasing anything. I could stand in a moment and feel steady.

I will come back to you later since I have some thoughts to journalize.... But it's good to be back.

Merry Widow