I almost didn't want to celebrate this year.
Money issues, responsibilities, sheer laziness, and believe it or not sadness. I started the month with a sudden realization that this will be my third birthday month alone. And that feeling has been weighing me down.
I try to look forward and most of the time I succeed. Lately though, I have been indulging myself. I feel like I needed to reconnect with my loss, and recall the pain.
I don't do it out of masochism. I do it to remind myself of the things that are important to me NOW. So here I am, back to planning a big birthday party because I remember that it has been my friends and family who have made the rest of my life worthwhile.
Whether I feel it or not, I will smile and celebrate my life and hope that gratitude fills my heart and drives the blues away.