Thursday, September 23, 2010


Vitriol Alert!

I think this is the end for someone who has been in and out of my life for years. We yelled over the phone two days ago and I haven't heard a peep since. I don't think I will be missed. Strike One.

I was supposed to meet a friend tonight, but major flake. I guess getting drunk with OTHER friends is more important. Strike Two.

And finally, I have to accept the fact that another person has judged me, thought less than more, and walked away without a backward glance. What a fraud. Strike Three.

It's so sad that people are continuously disappointing me, to the point that I am considering just retreating and giving up on them! If I don't do this, I will not be able to preserve my idealism/joy/hope/wonder.

I do not want to be a cynic, or cynical. I want to be who I was when I was younger -- naive, unspoilt, invincible. To preserve my happy self, I have to make sacrifices that may hurt in the beginning. But my hope is that over time, less people will have the power to bring me down.

It's true what they say that when you allow people into your life, you also give them the power to hurt you. No more. The walls are back up.

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