Life has conspired (again) to remind me of all that I have lost this year. An aunt made me cry over the phone by telling me, "You lost so much, you must feel so sad, you probably cry everyday..." and "My heart aches for you and I pray everyday that God sends you someone so you aren't so lonely...".
Other people in my life and on the outskirts of my existence came together this week to play with my heart, not by setting out to make me cry, but just by being reminders themselves of what I do not have anymore.
And so I end this week having cried more than recently usual, bowed by such a sense of loss. My days in themselves are normal, productive enough. But the sadness this week was like a mantle, a heavy one that made it seem more difficult to navigate my emotions.
I miss the presence of these three Cs in my life, and my world is smaller and so so so much emptier without them.