Today, I feel the burden of responsibility very heavily. Coming home and facing all the problems you left behind is quite a feeling.
I know the my status quo is temporary, but I've been on pause for too long. Something has to change, but I can't put a finger to it... What a mess, to not even know what you want!
I thought that visiting with sis and being away for a while would give me time to think, but the trip turned into a denial fest full of fun. Fantasy lures with her siren song.
For those who know that I only write when I'm bothered, take this as a tipping point... I woke up with a start this morning, with a thought of startling clarity -- There is something fundamentally wrong with the way I'm living my life.
I don't want to skim through life, settling all along the way. I don't want to be guided by desires, laziness, rebellion, anger and regret. I need to be able to find true passion, integrity and focus in my daily life. I need this to happen for me, because for far too long, I've been dependent on the trivial. I've lost sight.
Maybe it's time for me to start praying again.