It alway hits me like a ton of bricks and I'm suddenly I'm off-balance. "He is gone", I realize, "And I am alone."
I wish someone would invent a warning device because everytime it happens, it's always a breath-stopping shock to the heart. I am never prepared for that big THUDUP, and the following milliseconds in which my mind relives the last two painful years.
Fight or flight? Anger or escape? Acceptance seems so far on the horizon.